Craig chaired the meeting this evening, and Ian chaired the Humorous Speech Contest; both brought a great combination of experience, professionalism and equanimity (Grammarian Fiona's word for the night) to their roles.
According to our timekeeper Kate, the meeting started more or less on time. Craig asked members to introduce our guests: Welcome Sophie, Jennifer, Delan, Helen, Mark, Brian and Esther, I hope you enjoyed the contestants' speeches and the table topics this evening.
Ian kicked off the Humorous meeting with the usual formalities for selecting contestants and rounding up the judges. James K. warmed up the audience with a parody about Havelock North's water quality woes. We heard quotes from local MPs, the Mayor or Hastings and none other than Gordon Ramsay who would not drink, let alone wash the dishes with HN's raw water.
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| James K. With his Warm Up Speech |
The contestants were Dee and Peter. Dee's speech was called 'Making a Difference' and was about taking her family dog to the vet when she was a child. When asked what was wrong with her dog, she pointed out the chewing gum under the dog's arm, to which the Vet pointed out the dog had no arms! When asked as to whether the dog had passed a motion, Dee thought he meant 'emotion' and pointed out how unhappy the dog was. 'He wasn't smiling like he usually did'. Dee was happy with the 50p she spent to have the chewing gum removed.
Peter's speech was called 'Security Plus'. Visiting the bank will never be the same, and trying to hide your identity from the camera's may get you into trouble! With a security camera installed at home, Peter has been able to observe:
- the rabbits in his garden who seem very aware of the camera's presence
- his wife and her friend talking non-stop, and
- his wife swinging (single handed) the chainsaw around the garden with reckless abandon!
There are pitfalls to owning a security camera. These pitfalls are related to installation, monitoring and maintenance. I suspect that a potential chainsaw massacre could be on the cards now that Peter's wife has become one of the characters in his speech. We hope to see you back at the next meeting Peter, but will understand if you don't make it in one piece!
And the Winner of the Napier Toastmasters Humorous Speech Contest was... Peter M. Congratulations Peter.
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| From left to right: Contestants Dee, Peter and Contest Chair Ian |
Both Peter and Ashley go on to compete at the Area Humorous Speech Contest and Area Table Topics Contest on Friday the 2nd of September at 7 p.m. (Greenmeadows Community Centre). I hope you can make it to support them in the second round of their quests for national domination.
With the contest over, we were treated to a listening brain-teaser test from Craig. There lots of trick questions that had many of us heading for the obvious but incorrect answers. We all enjoyed the questions, but enjoyed the answers more.
Kate came up with a unique approach to Table Topics, that at first appeared like it might be difficult, but soon proved to be easy and enjoyable. Speakers had to pick two bits of paper, one had a destination, and the other had a mode of transportation. It was very much a lucky dip affair in which speakers picked weird combinations and had to weave a story out of them.
- Craig regaled us with a story of having to travel to Auckland on a motor bike. There were plenty of practice runs to Hastings and back with Jan hanging on for dear life.
- With a dearth of swimming beaches on Napier's waterfront, Ian found enjoyment in skateboarding to the beach.
- Peter, with the most efficient form of fossil fuel transportation around (his Vespa), told us about having to park his Vespa next to a 'big' hairy biker. Peter was fully expecting to be made fun of, but instead was complimented on owning an Italian classic.
- Fiona, with much animation and arms flying around, attempted to roller blade her way to the National Aquarium to swim with the sharks. Unfortunately, Fiona did not make it and ended up in hospital. She is now traumatised by thought of going roller blading, but is more than happy to swim with the sharks one day.
- Chris ran through all the available options for getting to the festival in New Plymouth and in the end settled on a bus trip accompanied by have the club.
- Dee travelled by plane to the US, and the highlight of her trip was the cup of tea she had at an American credit union; exciting stuff!
- Emma wanted to catch the train to the zoo, whilst her family took the car only to find she had to walk to Hastings to catch the train first.
Emma - Taking Selfies on the Train - Jennifer, whilst having a concussion and having to learn how to walk again, bravely walked to the doctor.
Jennifer - Making it to the Doctor - Sally was she was trying to avoid the police who seemed to be following her at every turn, but by doing so, ended up driving straight to the police station.
- Brian, stuck with a live of cleaning, cooking and shopping, didn't consume a lot, so his bicycle was all he needed for grocery shopping.
Brian - On his Bike
Craig then conducted the business session, where Chris managed to hand out gifts to past committee members for the wonderful work they did in keeping the membership humming along. Thanks again Dee and Ian for all your help. That's four gifts delivered and only one to go. Kate ably inducted new members Fiona and Sally. Welcome to the club!
Dee and Rachel rounded up the evening with the joint evaluation of table topics. There was plenty of praise for Kate's table topics, and plenty of commendations and recommendations for the speakers to take on board.
General Evaluator Emma, who was evaluating the entire meeting for her first time, handled the role with ease. Fiona commented on the use of the word 'equanimity' and Kate ran through the timings of each role.
The winners for the meeting were:
- Best Table Topics: Fiona
- Best Contribution: Ester
Esther - Receiving Her Prize for Best Contribution
Craig drew the meeting to a close, and many of us hung around to tidy up the room and put things away. It was a most enjoyable meeting.
Chris
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