Humorous Speech Contest 2015

We knew we were in for a few laughs for the evening with the humourous speech contest planned for Napier Toastmasters; and the contestants didn't disappoint us!

Colin did a great job as Toastmaster for the evening and kicked the evening off on time with a warm welcome to our guests David, Ian, Helen, and Area Director Peter. 

Toastmaster Colin

To set the mood for the humorous speeches David reminisced on his working years when the computer replaced his secretary and Steve recited a few of his classic jokes.

David - Replacing His Secretary

Peter did an excellent job chairing the humourous speech contest introducing each of the participants in turn and giving the judges time after each speech to write their notes and complete their score sheets.

Netta was the first contestant to speak with her speech 'ready for retirement' when apparently we can look forward to years when things fall out, wear out and spread out - Wow the future looks so good??!

Sarah followed with stories of being a school teacher who, the children tell her, doesn't quite make the grade of being one of the cool dudes.

Amy told us of her 'Disastrous Day' when being a black woman trapped in a white woman's body didn't quite go as she had planned.

Craig enlightened us with his 'true confessions of a bank manager' when taking note of a women's assets made good business sense.

From Left to Right: Contestant Craig, Contest Chair Peter and Contestants Sarah, Netta and Amy

Our Area Director, Peter, presented the benefits of doing a G.A.P analysis for the club and its members.

Grammarian Sarah with the Word 'Perpicacious'

After a lovely cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit in our 10 minute recess we were further treated to a very funny speech by Alistair. The speech was Alistair's Ice breaker speech and he had us all in stitches with his tales from his rebellious school years and anger management tactics.

Amy introduced a very new concept for Table topics to us when she invited 3 people to speak together in no more than 3 words at a time make up a plausible story with topics chosen by the audience.

James, Helen and Colin had a dentist looking for a flag in London or was it that the dentist got lost in London without his flag as the dentist certainly got lost in the story!

Ian, Sarah and David had Natasha looking for keys in the bathroom. As the story evolved Natasha seemed to have many bathrooms in her house and it appeared was suffering from dementia.

Christine, Dee and Craig had a peeping tom who'd lost his blue trousers - and the less said about that story the better ;-) What happens at Toastmasters stays at Toastmasters!

A very, very enjoyable table topics for both participants and audience, Well done Amy. I saw people wriggling in their seats wanting to be picked as one of the speakers and you don't often see that for a table topics session.

A few matters were raised in the business session

• Craig reminded everyone that some subs were still outstanding, so for those who ​hadn't yet paid they only had until 21st September to benefit from the $5 discount
• Wayne ran through the agenda for next meeting to ensure everyone who was ​programmed to participate would be at the meeting 

Before the meeting ended our general evaluator for the evening, Steve, presented his report of the evening, with the help of Sarah who was the grammarian for the evening she reported that only one person (Steve) had used the word of the evening; the word was "Perspicacious" which means able to quickly judge what people are like.

Congratulations to Amy for placing 1st in the club's Humorous Speech Contest!

Timekeeper, Wayne, kept us all to time during the evening and made sure that we finished 9pm prompt.

Thanks to our guest judges and everyone else who attended tonight's meeting. I hope everyone enjoyed I as much as I did.

Dee :-)