Two Bites of the Cherry

Under Craig's experienced hand, the meeting started on time with the welcoming of guests and guest judges. With such a large number of guests, the welcome was spread over the course of the first part of the meeting. The list of apologies, likewise was added to over time.


Our Guests were:
- Tom Allan
- Kane Boulton
- Paul Ritchie
- Agilan Vimalathas
- Laurence Bacchus
- Richard

And our Guest Judges were:
- Ian Wright (Hastings Toastmasters)
- Peter Crofskey (Hastings Toastmasters)
- David Gore (Hastings Toastmasters)
- Andrew Whitworth (Magpie Toastmasters)

A warm welcome goes out to our guests for attending, and thank you to our judges for taking time away from their families to judge our Humorous Speech Contest.

Dee read out the mission statement followed by General Evaluator Peter who introduced his team of Grammarian Graeme and Timekeepers Hannah and Sarah Lee. Graeme wanted everyone to be different and bit peculiar, and so he gave us the word of the night "Fun Knee".

Then it was straight onto the contest. All the pre-flight checks were made with contestants confirming their eligibility and the judges reviewing the rules.

Warm Up

Graeme warmed up the audience with a tale of a very warming experience he had in the back seat of Steve's car. As he put it, he was the thorn between two roses, but with every bump and swerve, his seatbelt tightened to almost choking point.

Contestants' Speeches

Amy was first up with her speech "Dog vs Child". Amy weighed up the pros and cons of having a child, vs having a pet dog. Both will quite happily eat off the floor, wear leashes and both can be fenced in the back yard. The dog does have a tendency to die by the age of 15, whilst the child sticks around for another three years before leaving home. Despite the advantages of having a dog, Amy will not trade in her children.

James was the second speaker with "Your Next Labour Party Leader". Like a true politician, James outlined three policies:
Policy 1: Make Monday to Friday work free, and only let people work in the weekend. That is, under James, we will have a two day working week.
Policy 2: Change the 100% Pure NZ slogan to "Yeah - Nah"
Policy 3: Adopt Zenglish (short for NZ English), whereby redundant consonants and vowels can be dropped, and incorrect spellings are accepted as okay.

Dee told us of the lengths she went to to improve the likelihood of getting her first chef job by reducing the chances of the other job candidates. It was to be the start of a great Michelin Star career, but alas it stalled because the head chefs didn't want to hire women.

Contestants Amy, Dee & James, and Contest Chair Christine

Congratulations James!

The contest was won by James, and James will go on to represent Napier Toastmasters (along with Amy who won the Table Topics contest) at the area contest on the 20th of September.

Prepared Speech

James had "Two bites of the cheery" as David Grant put it. As well as entering the Humorous Speech Contest, James gave a prepared speech. James second speech was called "Lotto - It's Not for Everyone". James rolled out the statistics point out that you have a far better chance of being struck by lightning (1:250,000) than wining 1st division Lotto (1:4 million), and an even better chance of having a car accident (1:11,000). In conclusion, James advised us to "Be Good with Money".

James was evaluated by David Grant and was commended for his singing and stretching the boundaries.

Area Governor

Area Governor - Ian Wright

Our area governor Ian Wright (from Hastings Toastmasters) told us about his role and the support he provides the area's clubs. We have six clubs. Ian's role is to:
- support clubs in achieving the goals set by Toastmasters International
- provide area training twice a year
- organise the area speech competitions
- check that clubs conform to international standards and guidelines, and
- reporting.

Ian has to visit each club at least twice in his capacity as Area Governor. Thank you Ian for a very informative presentation.

Table Topics

The table topics session was conducted by Netta who handed speakers quotes by William Shakespeare.

Amy was first up with a line from Hamlet: "God has given you one face and you make yourself another" Amy, despite pretending to be a 'wild irish woman' was happy to stick with the face she has.

David Gore "Parting is such sweet sorrow", finished the line, and using the lectern as a prop, proceeded to finish the quote, pointing out how sad it is going to be upon leaving the meeting.

Graeme had one of the easier quotes: "Friends, Roman Countrymen, lend me your ears", but soon forgot what he had heard.

Laurence took on Graeme's topic and he too changed the topic to espouse the effectiveness of delivering Toastmaster type speeches rather than Shakespearean styled speeches.

Andrews quote was "If music is the food of love, play on", and so he does with a banana in one hand, a cup of coffee in the other and Pink Floyd playing on his stereo.

Business

Craig ran through a number of items including a reminder to the Bring a Guest meeting on the 14th of October, and Chris presented certificates to the winers and participants of the Table Topics Contest that was held in August.

General Evaluation

Peter and his team reviewed the evening's proceedings handing out a range of commendations and recommendations for those involved.

Meeting Awards

Congratulations go to tonights:
- Best Speaker: James
- Best Evaluators: Sarah Hall and Lana
- Best Table Topic: David Gore