As Strange as it may Sound

By Chess Severyn-Parish

As strange as it may sound, sometimes the loudest voice of all, is the one that remains trapped in silence.  It's the little voice in your heart that yearns to be heard, but without courage it will never know the sound of its own words.  At the end of our days, it's not the things we've done that we will regret.  Upon reflection, it's the things that we haven't done, or the things that have gone unsaid, that will sadden us most.

I have a young friend at work who is in a leadership position.  She's very bright, enthusiastic and hard working.  Under normal circumstances she is quite chatty and unafraid to give you her opinion.  Every fortnight she has to attend a store meeting and that confident front she projects, waivers on the brink of collapse.  Each time she is asked to share ideas or thoughts about her department, she experiences a mild panic attack.

Her heart starts beating fast, her hands get sweaty and she has difficulty breathing.  She finds that she can't bring herself to talk and simply shakes her head to indicate a no, and the attention of the room shifts to the next person.  When she comes out of the meeting, she's absolutely furious at herself.  She had a lot to say but was unable to find the words when she needed them most.  She berates herself and swears that next time... she'll do better.  When I try to help her, she says "Oh it's different for you Chess, you're a toastmaster, it's easy for you to talk in front of people.  You're far more confident than I am, I could never speak in public like you do".

That's a definite misconception.  I'm actually quite shy and reserved in nature.  It takes a lot of courage on my part to get up and speak in front of people.  Another misconception that some people have, is that if they join Toastmasters, they will be automatically thrusted into doing speeches.  That's not how it works.  It's one step at a time.  Like the reading of the mission statement and doing table topics.  There's plenty of opportunity to sit back and watch more experienced toastmasters talk, which is a good way to gauge what you will be doing in the near future.  We're always learning and picking up tips from one another, each time one of us gets up to speak.

One of the first things I learnt when I was looking at Toastmasters, was that when it comes to talking in public... it's not that bad.  What seems to hold us back the most, is the "thought" of talking, not the actual doing of it.  A lesson that all toastmasters understand.  Over the last year, my confidence to speak my mind has grown greatly.  Even to the point that my boss comments on it in a positive way.  In doing so, I find myself feeling less frustrated, better understood, more appreciated and happier in my job.  Something that I don't think would have happened, had it not been for Toastmasters.  As King George V said "I have a voice!"